she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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