I hate your face
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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