He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
