Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
