In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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