Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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