She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
