Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
