I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
