It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
