I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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