You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
