remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
