Will you blow on my dice?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
