the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
