you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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