Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
