I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
