i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
