i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
