He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
