Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
