? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
