We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
