very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
