She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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