Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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