Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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