Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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