In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
