please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
