All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
