careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
