Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I still have a little drunk in my system
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize