oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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