you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize