Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
