We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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