I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
