I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Please don't give away my fajitas
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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