Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
