hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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