So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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