Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
