oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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