i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
