It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
