thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
