i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
