Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
