kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
