Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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