it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I need moral support for this bender
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
