meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
