speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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