The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And then he peed in my hair
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