Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
