So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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