no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
